Well, after the coffee was done, I grabbed my croissant  to eat, and was looking for a mug to use.  The sink the morning is filled with dirty dishes from the week, and hardly enough clean mugs for me to use.  And lo and behold one of the only clean cups to use was my “Mind the Gap” London coffee mug.

It was majestic, a masterpiece designed by God.

Sometimes I say, we are running out of time

sometimes I say, there is no time

sometimes I say, we have all the time in the world

sometimes I say, where did all the time go?

time is intangible really.

Yes we measure time by minutes, seconds and hours

but it’s not about how much time we have left

it’s what we do with it.

In this dream my mom tells me she has some news to tell me, and she doesn’t look very happy at first.  She then tells me that she is a little bit upset with me.  I of course was shocked, and instead of being reactionary about it I questioned her, and tried to reason with her.  I don’t remember exactly what she said, but she said something about the way I am talking.  She says it is too mature.  In the dream, I am still calm and now wondering why she would say that to me.  I then recall some of the mother daughter arguments we would have when I was a teenager (and I must admit sometimes in my adulthood) where I would be quick to give a smart ass remark, or some spoiled whiny tantrum voice.

As I remember all these (in my dream) I look at her, smile and say, “Do you just miss me being a little girl again mom?” That’s when her stern face cracks and shows a broken smile and admits she does miss her baby.  I hug her so tight and I say “I miss you too”  It was the longest hug ever.  I woke up realizing it was only a dream, but not disappointed by it.

Thanks for visiting mom.  I miss you very much. Don’t worry about me, I may be getting older but I will always be your little girl.

I started my weekend of 2012 at an event called swap and meet.  Where you bring a bag of clothes, accessories, books, shoes, etc. for the exchange of going through the heaps of collective items.

Now, 97% of us there were women, and women who know each other either closely, or at least friends with someone in the room to the 6th degree.

Before we began on what we thought was going to be a wild cat fight of women fighting for their favorite top that they were eyeing as the items came in, we had a cordial introduction and run down on basic guidelines which pretty much said, “just be nice to each other.”

During our introduction we were told to say one favorite thing we brought.  It was an interesting observation to point out that most women shop with emotion, or hold on to many items with emotions.

Thus, the art of letting go takes place.

The ability to gather your emotions, choosing the items you want to put out there is like choosing the right color palate or musical note to share with the world.

Not all is expressed because you are either not ready to let go, or you think the world is not ready for it yet.

Then there are those picking what they want.  Much like an artist who puts their things out there for the taking, some appeals to others while some do not.

I felt very blessed to be part of this sort of ‘art gallery’ with a room of strong women who weren’t afraid to shed their emotions for us to grab.

Something I heard on one of those “spiritual awareness 2012 video presentations.”  Yes, I’ve become one of those engrossed in the 2012 madness that’s going on right now.  I mean why wouldn’t I? I’m living the 2012 madness.

I don’t know if I can be both be at peace with the way things are, and shouting in the streets to end war, and end the corporate machines that are ruling our society.

“Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future’s not ours to see, que sera sera.”

My mom used to sing that song to me when I was a baby, and she told me that her mom used to sing that to her.  I already told myself I was going to sing that song to my future babies.

Sure it is true, that whatever will be with be, but that won’t stop me from sitting on my ass, when whatever is happening makes me scratch my head, and say, “that shit ain’t right.”

Rather I could have said, my mind is open to accept what flows through my creative process right now, so I should just write freely.

It is yet another day of life, and I am truly blessed to be on this earth.

Yes there are challenges, yes I get frustrated, and yes the world and society is really fucked up right now.

but then I stop, I breathe and though I have not “mastered” this meditation concept, I take a moment to allow the heart to pump, the lungs to expand, and the blood to flow through this majestic temple my soul is living in right now.

Because what is left when we leave this earth?  But only what we’ve learned from it, and what we have provided for it.

I never really took any thought into what she said until I started paying attention to those times where I actually woke up early as opposed to 15 minutes before I have to head out to work.

Waking up earlier gives me a chance to walk my dog, thus allowing myself to take a deep breath of the new morning I was blessed to have.  It gives me a chance to make myself a nice new pot of coffee to wake me up for that long commute to work.  It gives me time for my regular routine of getting ready but in not in such a hurried fashion.  But most importantly it gives me time to write and/or reflect on my day before, or the day coming up.

While on the other hand waking up 15 minutes before I head out the door gives me only a chance to do my regular routine of getting ready times two, and looking at the clock to see how much more can I squeeze in this one minute.

So I agree with my best friend as I contemplate amongst the two mornings.  My mornings are important to me.  I’m so glad I got to wake up early this morning to write about it.