Fishydog’s Weblog

He woke up again with his heart beating faster than usual, his eyes beginning to swell up like it did 6 months ago, thinking back to that day when his heart, his soul mate dug her guilty sobbing face into his shoulders and whispered the words, “I’m sorry…really it meant nothing, I love you.”  Every now and then this memory would wake him, the day he was duped, the day he vowed never to let his guard down, the day his heart shattered for the first time.  He got up that morning trying for the 300th time to remove that memory from his brain.  For the past three months he tried to forget this feeling, by telling himself he will never fall in love again.  So with that idea in his mind, he fell into what some may say promiscuousness, or ‘research’.  Researching himself, in other women, and one night another man, but no one knew about that night except for himself and the other man.

Although, Justin has had his fair share of partners for the past three months, he promised himself one thing.  He would never (knowingly) break up a relationship.  If he knew she was seeing someone, she would be off limits.  He knew how it would feel to be the other guy, and none of the girls he’s been sleeping with never really caught any significant attention to even put in any effort for a serious relationship to even start.  There was however this one girl he met.  Too early to start anything soon after his break up.  So they just remained friends.  They met by a mutual friend of theirs, just causally talking  through instant messages, text messages, and their 2 hours conversations at least once a week.

Justin was receiving all his sexual satisfaction from his various partners, but could not get enough mental stimulation from Michelle.  He never was really sexually attracted to her, just thought she was cute.  Their five month relationship has grown, and Michelle knows about most of Justin’s adventures in bed.  They would share laughs, stories, and insights.  Justin enjoyed their conversations, but never tried to pursue anything with her, only because she has a boyfriend.  He never met her boyfriend, but felt like he knew him, because of Michelle’s complaints about him.  He never suggested to her to break up with her boyfriend, he never did, because he thought he was respecting their relationship, but not sleeping with Michelle.

Then casually, in one of their late night conversations, she says, “So is this how mind sex feels like?”

With that one sentence, Justin knew he broke his promise.